I grew up in the Midwest where the accents are mild, the salad ingredients include jello (and often cottage cheese), and the work ethic is rigid. 20 years later I’ve found myself working for an “Oprah-endorsed guru of happiness.” And the values my boss Shawn Achor writes about, studies that I have delved into in order to answer customer questions, are at opposition to the lessons I learned as a kid and especially at odds with the lessons I learned coming from the non-profit world.
In his work, Shawn writes that the formula to success is backwards. His field of positive psychology documents scientific evidence that we will not find happiness by waiting until we reach a goal, but instead we must be happy first and that by being happy we will find more success and more achievement as happier beings. As I said, I work with that synthesized data often, sharing studies and articles on social media with folks interested in the happiness movement throughout the world. Yet I have a secret: I find it really hard to put that research into practice.
I came to Shawn’s team from the museum/non-profit world. This was a field where there were always many more applicants for any position that was open, a field historically with few well-paying jobs and mostly volunteer-run organizations. This world of the non-profit translated into a “fun” but-low paying field that we fought over tooth and nail because we loved sharing knowledge with others, curating treasures, organizing artifacts, working with students and visitors, and sharing stories. In my museum career, I worked at a large national museum as well as a local “medium “sized museum and several contract positions in-between. The common denominator of these institutions was that a) everyone cared strongly about their job—to the point they felt it was a calling and b) everyone had too much work to do for one person. My Midwestern work ethic (honed as an honor student with seven summer jobs) was right at home here! There were fires to be put out, projects to be organized, tasks to be charted, emails to be written; this environment gave me a great sense of accomplishment to feel that adrenaline rush that comes from seeing a huge deadline and meeting it. I stayed late, worked from home, checked email with my morning coffee and felt like I was doing more than earning my keep, I was doing what a “good worker” does, I was devoting myself to my job/career/calling and finding happiness doing it!
So what was wrong with that? With the addition of two children into my life, I saw quickly how that practice was not really sustainable. I went part-time, still not getting the real message. Now, 20 years after leaving the Midwest I have found myself in my current– dream job– helping to share the message that we need to put happiness first and contributing (in my small way) to the happiness movement. But even now, working with the truth of positive psychology in my mind, my Midwestern mindset valuing hard work and touting that idle hands will do evil things still tries to rule my day. For example, this week my daughter asked me to take her to get our nails done, and I knew I should take the time to do it. But before I could say “sure,” I panic with that work ethic voice in my head: “oh man, should I do that?” Even though I’ve been told by numerous bosses that an hour of my time is worth several hours of another worker’s time (obviously not a Midwest worker, mind you), I still guilted myself over the 25 unanswered customer emails, social media ideas to sort, and a to list that I haven’t touched from last week.
Honestly, I don’t always make the right choice when it comes to choosing my priorities and this was a case of that. Sometimes the fear that I will lose my job if I’m not seen to be working hard enough (from that non-profit world of the recession when our department was cut from five employees with three and I absorbed the work of 1.5 people) keeps me from doing what I know will make me a better worker. I know that a break will make me a more productive worker. I made a meme about this very thing a few months ago, but the “work” model in my head is that I should stay at my desk and eat my lunch over email or watching videos and get back to the grindstone. I tell my daughter that we will have to wait to do our date next week. Then I spend the day at my computer checking off that to-do list like a madwoman, feeling that adrenalin rush!
Doh! But now I step back and I feel guilty that I can’t follow the model of “the happy secret to better work” (see Shawn’s TEDx talk on the topic or read our infographic). So I start another day and remind myself that each day is part of a week where I can I wean myself off the adrenaline rush, pride myself on scheduling special kid/mommy time, and take time to write and paint. When I take these steps, I know that I am working to reformulate my work ethic into one that I want to model for my children. …and that’s my happy secret!
